I Want a Wedding For Christmas
Weddings are romantic, exciting and a good excuse for a party, but next to house moving, getting married is also high up there on the list of life’s most stressful events. So really, deciding to put a wedding on the cards before Christmas would be quite ludicrous. And that’s precisely what I’m going to try and do.
I’ve been engaged for 16 years but in none of that time have my fiancé and I ever sat down and set a date. No, I lie. Back in the early days I dreamt I would be wed by 2002. Then 2005. After that I kinda gave up on the idea for another day.
The funny thing about getting married is that you’re supposed to start life as husband and wife from the outset, so when you spend half of your life in a relationship without making that first wedding hurdle, you’ve lived through and experienced a heck of a lot of stuff already.
Physically getting married becomes more of a challenge the longer you live together – what does a marriage certificate change? But sometimes, what you go through and come out of either breaks you or makes you stronger, and considering the amount of drama we’ve faced together already we’re pretty solid. Suffering a miscarriage back in August has reminded me how important marriage is to me, so wedding thoughts stirred up again.
But why am I suddenly wanting to plan a wedding at such short notice? In a nutshell, my Dad. Two years ago he was diagnosed with the on-start of leukaemia, and he was fighting it really well. Then this summer came a second blow: pancreatic cancer. And as it stands, the cancer can’t be operated on and he’s too ill for chemotherapy. I don’t know how we’re actually going to do it because my Dad is in so much pain and barely leaves his bed. But I’ve always wanted my Dad to walk me down the aisle and it feels like now is the time.
I must admit, when I broached the wedding subject with the OH he hadn’t realised I was thinking a pre-Christmas kinda time. Churches and people need time to book, and it takes time to prepare, so I just *may* be expecting too much. But I can’t bear the thought of losing an amazing opportunity when I’ve really had 16 years to do it.
Weddings are the ultimate dream, so you can easily get swept away. Of course it’s all in the detail, but when time is short we need to prioritise. The church, the photography, the dress… argh! Is a church wedding this quick possible?
If you can help me make my dream come true, I would love to hear from you! (’cause I don’t have a clue what I’m doing!)
Paul C.
November 6, 2015 at 4:33 amGet a wedding planner with this short of notice, they can make magic happen!
Becky Magson
November 13, 2015 at 12:12 amSounds like the most sensible of advice!
Becky x
Cassie
November 6, 2015 at 6:13 amyou can do it! i have no help for you other than advice to only do what is absolutely the most important to you! keep it simple, keep it you! but if it’s important to you, and it is, you can make it happen. find a lovely friend who likes wedding things and likes to plan and beg/borrow/steal their help! as another person who was in a relationship for a long time without paper work, don’t feel bad for waiting till it’s right. good luck, enjoy every moment with your father and it will be lovely!
Becky Magson
November 13, 2015 at 12:13 amThanks Cassie, you’re so true!
Becky x
Tomo
November 6, 2015 at 11:26 amIS that you? Pictures are fabulous.
Becky Magson
November 11, 2015 at 10:19 pmHi! Yes, it is actually me in these photos. 🙂
Becky x
Terry Karney
November 6, 2015 at 5:21 pmI’m not sure. First, I’m in the States, so things are a bit different. The issue of church wedding probably depends on the availability of the church and the mood of the vicar.
As to the rest… there is (having had a complicated wedding myself) nothing that can’t be fixed with money. The two parts that both need the most money and the most oversight are the photographer (though I suspect you have a better insight on that than most. When I was still making regular money with a camera I refused to do weddings, because I 1: didn’t want to do a poor job, and 2: hated the time pressure for turnaroud: which was different back then because it was all film).
The caterer is the one which is the most dependent on steady communication. We got lucky, in part because our caterer flaked on us six weeks out, and the one we found to replace them was excellent. If you can find an event they are catering, I’d see if there was a way to attend so as to see the service, and sample the food; but that’s sort of tricky; esp. on a tight time schedule.
I wish I had a more useful sort of comment. Having been engaged for some years before our wedding (and having a several thousand mile move to live together) I know some of what you feel, and wish you all the best.
It’s worth it. The ceremony doesn’t really change anything major, but there is something incredibly satisfying in it, even when it seems it’s but a formalisation of extant life.
Congratulations, and may it go smoothly.
Becky Magson
November 13, 2015 at 12:16 amThanks Terry, I think you’ve got it right there. The reception venue is currently my biggest issue right now, with the catering tying in with that. The photography is so important too and I’m so worried about getting it wrong. My OH is a photographer himself which makes the task for the critical eye much more difficult! But, I keep trying to come back to the point of the ceremony which is the most important piece for me.
Becky x