Tag: life

10 Reasons Why I Miss Being Pregnant

When I first became pregnant I couldn’t wait to grow a bump.  Giving birth to a real baby was a far off destination and I was worry-free and excited for the future.  But it seemed that once the journey got into full swing, pregnancy started to lose its candyfloss appeal; I found it hard going with nausea and struggled with pain.  Toward the end I was finished, ready to meet my baby and regain the

Baby Boudoir: Blogging Through Pregnancy

After a tense few months of anxiety and nausea, earlier this week I was finally able to share some exciting news – I’m pregnant!  If you’ve been following the blog for a while you’ll know why I’d be nervous this time around, when a year ago I suffered a missed miscarriage.  But things seem to be going really well, we’ve had a healthy scan and now as I come to the end of the first

12 Things That Happen When Trying For A Baby

Trying for a baby is mental.  Literally.  I thought it was easy the first time.  Came off the pill and wham bam, the following month I was pregnant.  Of course I ended up miscarrying, and now it’s all back to round one again, but this time with a whole new level of want.  It’s a matter of urgency.  And of course, what you really, really want, you just never get that easy.   If, like

Happy New Year | A Wish of New Hope & Optimism

Year ends have a way of throwing you into the emotional mixer.  The annual wave of goodbye, through feelings of satisfaction or relief, brings forth the rush of excitement for what the new year may hold – with daunted trepidation toward new beginnings roused by fears from the past.   New years are fresh and unwritten but negative forecasts lay a foundation of false defeat.   Drawing near to the end of 2015 I found myself dispirited and lethargic with life and

I Want a Wedding For Christmas

Weddings are romantic, exciting and a good excuse for a party, but next to house moving, getting married is also high up there on the list of life’s most stressful events.  So really, deciding to put a wedding on the cards before Christmas would be quite ludicrous.  And that’s precisely what I’m going to try and do.   I’ve been engaged for 16 years but in none of that time have my fiancé and I ever sat down and set

My Grazia Loneliness Story: A Year On

A year ago I revealed myself to the world.  Sharing my most shaded secret with Grazia magazine, I confessed probably the biggest social taboo of today: I had no friends. Having struggled half my life with post traumatic stress following an assault at 16, I’d reached the point where my social anxieties had sectioned me to a friend-less life.  Had it not been for my fiance at my side, I would have had nobody, but even though we were

Yes, Miscarriage is Something We Should Talk About

Since the day we learned we lost our baby, it seems all we see is babies.  When you’ve gone from being a first time expectant parent to grieving the premature loss of your baby, you notice all the adverts with babies in, every single passing pushchair and crying babes in arms.  Kids are everywhere – your reminder of what you could have won. Recently Mark Zuckerberg spoke about his wife, Priscilla Chan’s, miscarriages, and vloggers Sam and Nia

Bye Bye Baby | My Missed Miscarriage

I never imagined that the first time I’d see my first ever baby she wouldn’t be alive. Laying in a dimmed room, in the illumination of the monitor, I saw my baby, like a little sleeping hippo, cocooned in the safety of my belly.   But she was still.   Suspended in time, no heart beat from the motionless shape on the screen.  In a moment my life’s hopes and dreams had been snuffed out. Thinking I was 9