12 Things That Happen When Trying For A Baby
Trying for a baby is mental. Literally. I thought it was easy the first time. Came off the pill and wham bam, the following month I was pregnant. Of course I ended up miscarrying, and now it’s all back to round one again, but this time with a whole new level of want. It’s a matter of urgency. And of course, what you really, really want, you just never get that easy.
If, like me, you’re relentlessly trying for a baby, you’ll most likely totally get this post. I could probably keep adding to the list to be honest. This pretty much is just me venting steam for sanity’s sake. When trying to conceive you really do feel alone, and it’s exasperating and traumatic going through the motions month in month out without result. But never fear. It isn’t just you, you’re not alone, and feeling angry/upset/depressed/worried is completely okay. So I’m told.
And remember, there’s another half going through exactly the same worries who is just as fed up (and excited!) as you.
Just for fun, folks!
1. Sex is an olympic sport and you take the gold in gymnastics
Positions are as much about efficiency as pleasure.
2.You become a hopeful hypochondriac
Every tummy ache is ovulation, every trapped fart, implantation. And don’t dare say you feel sick within ear shot of your Mum.
3.Spillage is a moment of mourning
Every droplet is like liquid gold and a baby martyr who died for their cause.
4.You dread each season finale
Your meagre fertile window is as stressful as waiting for the next season of Game of Thrones.
5.You become the Internet’s bitch
Googling the cause of that niggling pain leads you to the family planning forums and you haven’t a clue what they’re talking about. You need to swat up on the lingo to get anywhere in these convos. Who the eff is TTC with a BD tonight?
6.You’re proficient in pee pots
It’s all about the ovulation tests and pregnancy tests, you know.
7.Everyone’s having babies except you
Every tv ad with a baby, every programme with a baby and every parent wielding a baby wherever you go, exists just to rub your face in it.
8.Unsolicited advice is aplenty
Everyone has the best advice to offer that is the magic fairy dust to your lack of baby problem, whether you asked for it or not. Never has a punch in the face felt so appropriate.
9.Your sex life is public knowledge
Every man and his dog know what you’re up to and expect running commentary on the progress. Every single time you speak.
10.You think it’ll never happen
Every month that goes by, another period, another missed opportunity. And you start to worry you’ve left it too late, you’re running out of time and you’re going to die before you get chance.
11.Your fertility calendar becomes the family calendar
It contains all the vital dates everyone needs to know. IE. You and him. Ovulation day.
12.Periods are your nemesis
Thought your period was a bitch before? Now you’ve a whole new level of hate for the monthly shed. This is the final punch in the gut from mother nature. F-you period!
I know I could easily keep adding to this list! What would you add?
Let’s vent frustration together!